We are very excited to share our journey to Seoul to get our son and come back! So many of you have prayed for our family, waited impatiently with us, bought gifts for Jacob, and now rejoice with us as we travel to bring him home. We will be sharing updates with you via this blog to report on our trip and transition.
As we prepare to bring him home, we are asking for your help in assisting with Jacob's transition. We are all very excited and have been waiting for this moment for the past year and a half. He will be forever home! However, he does not realize that he is not already home. For the last 3 years, his foster parents have raised him and cared for him as though he is their son. We are so thankful for their love and dedication to his care. He has been with the same foster parents for the last 3 years, and we are so grateful for this. Saying good-bye to each other will be extremely difficult. I cannot imagine how his foster parents must be feelings. I also cannot imagine how confused Jacob will be when the time to say good-bye comes.
To Jacob, we are complete strangers. We look different and talk different. And we will be bringing him to the other side of the world to a different country, different house, different food...everything will be different. We know that Jacob will face huge adjustments in the coming weeks and months. He will also grieve the loss of his foster family. This will cause some confusion for him - will we leave him too? who is his immediate family?
We wanted to discuss with you all some decisions that we have made to help Jacob adjust to his new environment. We are planning to keep Jacob's world very quiet and small as he adjusts. For some children this takes a few weeks, for some it takes longer. It will be unlikely that we will have him at church for first few weeks. And even when we do have him there, we will not be dropping him off in the nursery for a while. We will decide when it is time to introduce him to people - it depends on how he transitions.
In addition to his adjustment to his new environment, we need to ensure that he attaches to us as his parents and bonds with us. Attachment takes time and care. It will happen over time as we meet his physical and emotional needs. Proper attachment is extremely important, and if it does not occur, it causes huge problems. So we are asking for your help. Once we reach the point that we are introducing him to others, we will still be working to form attachments. It will be a long time before we feel comfortable allowing anyone to care for, feed, hug or even hold Jacob. We want him to learn that we are his parents and we will always be there to meet his needs. If you see him and he asks you for a need - no matter how big or how small, please direct him to either Rob or I. Please do not attempt to meet the need. Even if he is asking for something small like a snack. Please know that we are making these decisions in the best interest of Jacob. We have come up with this plan after much prayer and research on the matter.
But that doesn't mean that we don't want you near us! Once we enlarge his world, we would love to have you meet him! Please feel free to come up and say hi. High fives or pats on the back are always good! We will expand his world as we see his adjustment and attachment has progressed. Thank you all so much. We could not have gotten to this point without all the support and prayers that we have received from all of you. We look forward to sharing this journey with you!
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