First Full Day Together

So we decided to go out and do something together today, rather than just sit in the hotel. We wanted to go somewhere mainly inside. So we decided on this indoor amusement park called Lotte World. As we were walking up, Jacob seemed excited! We walked in and...wow. I don't know how to explain it. Jacob may not have sensory issues, but after a few hours there, Rob and I did. It was sensory overload. It is huge. It has a bunch of rides all crammed into a small area. (yes, it was both huge AND small. Huge, but not large enough for the amount of rides they have) We rode a few rides, and Jacob loved watching the monorail ride go around (the line for that ride was 45 minutes - so we just watched it). We ate lunch, and Jacob managed to fall asleep in his stroller. How? I don't know. We left after lunch and Rob and I were spent. When I got back, someone had mentioned on facebook about a nice museum with a great kids area. That probably would have been the right choice. Oh well! We spend the rest of the afternoon at the hotel. It was really a great afternoon. I think we got to see the real Jacob. He was doing things that the foster mom had said he does. He was lining up his cars in this pattern that reminded me of rush hour traffic in Seoul. He was playing much more naturally. We have this book that is about numbers. Each page has a number on it - 1-10. And there are buttons on the right side that have the numbers. You push the button with the number that matches the number on the page, and it says a number and plays a sound. He loved it. We went through it over and over again. And he know all his numbers! He was so cute chatting away in Korean, and watching him think through each match. Our hotel has an Outback in it, so we decided to order some take-out. We were told Jacob only ate Korean food, so we offered him both Korean food and some Outback. He was a little hesitant at first about the Outback food, but he warmed up quickly to it. :) We were told that he doesn't like the shower, and we don't have a tub in our hotel, so we gave him a wipe down and got in bed. We turned on Thomas, and after a little while, he was out.

He is such a sweet and thoughtful child. He seems to be very gentle. These are all things his foster mom said to describe him, so I think we are seeing the real him. Which is huge. Many kids don't trust that quickly to show their real self for a while.

The attachment process is going well on all 3 sides. Many people do not realize that attachment isn't just about a child attaching to his/her parents. The parents also need to attach and bond. This is something I didn't realize when we brought Elijah home - and he was a complete stranger to me. Many people think adoptive parents are instantly bonded, but that isn't always true. I haven't had 9 months of feeling the baby move inside me. That is very bonding for a mother and child. When Elijah came home, I beat myself up about it. But I realized that bonding and attaching comes with time. And love grows. As you do the tasks of caring for a child, skin-to-skin contact, playing, eye contact - those all foster attachment. And love grows. I am head over heals for Elijah now. And the process has begun with Jacob. I can see how easily he trusts us. He feel asleep in Rob's arms on the subway. He doesn't fear bedtime. He allows us to comfort him when he is sad or falls down and hurts himself. When we hold him, he has started holding us back. He is allowing for eye contact. All these are signs of trust. He even ran up to Rob and threw his arms around Rob's legs. He calls Rob "Daddy". He has called me "Mommy" one time. And I know he called me Mommy to his foster mom. But that one may be a little tougher for him right now. Which is understandable.

There has been a little regression in a few areas. One is potty training. He was fully day trained, but we have kept a pull-up on him, and he has gone in that. Except when we got back to the hotel, his pull-up was dry. I put him on the potty, and he pee'd! Yay! He hasn't pooped much - that is not uncommon for grieving children. Another area of regression is eating. He had been able to eat on his own, but now I feed him for every meal. That is the only way he will eat. He drinks fine on his own. But I don't mind. I actually like it. It is good for bonding anyways.

Rob and I have enjoyed our time in Seoul, but now that we have Jacob, we are desperately home sick. We were told over and over again that adoption travel is NOT a vacation. And it is true. And we are ready to go home. We both miss Elijah so much. I can't wait to get home to him. We have skyped with  him every day - sometimes twice a day. My mom is taking good care of him. I can't wait to get back and start our new life. Seoul is a big city. A HUGE city. And we are not big city type people. We love Williamsburg, and we are ready to get back. Maybe one day we will be back for vacation and really get to see the tourist things. With only 1 free day, we didn't have much time. And the DMZ was at the top of our list, so I am glad we saw that. We leave Monday, so we still have 1 more day in Seoul and then the long flight home. Please pray for us!