Homecoming

We were up bright and early on Monday to catch the 6:23am bus to the airport. Jacob wasn't a fan of being up that early, but he did fine. At the airport, Jacob had a great time watching the airplanes take off and land. Our flight left at 10:30, and it seriously couldn't have gone smoother. We ate and played for a couple hours. Then he slept for a couple hours. Then he played quietly for the remainder of the flight. The flight was a total of 13 and a half hours. And he was GREAT. It was so uneventful, that I don't have much to say about it. He cried a little at the very end when we were landing and his ears were popping, and he refused to drink some water or eat his lollipop. Plus he was so tired. Then we had to go through immigration. When you bring in a newly adopted child who has an immigrant visa and not a US passport, you have to travel with an immigration packet that has a ton of info in it. So after the first immigration officer looked through our paperwork, we had to go to a second one who did the exact same thing. Then we got our bags and went through customs. The first customs officer required us to go through another customs line to have our bags x-ray'd and ask us some more questions from a second customs officer. Thankfully, they didn't require a full search of our bags. Finally, a third customs officer welcomed Jacob to the US. Whew. That process took like an hour. We headed out to our car, and it was obvious how incredibly tired Jacob was.

And then there was the carseat. OH MY GOODNESS. He has obviously never been in a carseat in his life. When we strapped him in, he screamed like a wild animal. For the next 20 minutes, he screamed and cried and tried to break loose from his carseat. You would have thought it was eating him! Poor kid. I pulled out the ipod touch and showed him how to play a game. That quieted him down for a few minutes, until he let out a tired cry and feel asleep for the remainder of the drive home (which was about 3 hours total).

When we got home, Elijah ran out to us and got so excited to see Jacob. He kept saying "Jacob!" and pointing to him. It was cute to watch. Elijah was so excited and Jacob was checking Elijah out. Elijah has a very sweet and loving nature. He loves to make people laugh. And Jacob warmed up to him right away. It wasn't long before they were playing with trains and Elijah was making Jacob laugh. Elijah was showering him with hugs and kisses. Elijah also showed him the ropes. It was easier to show Jacob what we were doing when we did it with Elijah first. For example, we were able to get in our first good teeth brushing because Elijah showed him it is no big deal. And the bath was adorable. The boys had a blast playing in the water! And at night when we were saying our prayers, Elijah reached over and gave Jacob a huge hug, and that made Jacob very happy. It also made Mommy and Daddy very happy. And now we are in the playroom watching as they are playing and laughing.

Sleep went pretty well too. Probably out of sheer exhaustion, but we went to bed around 9, and woke up around 6. Rob and I are still exhausted, but that was way more sleep than I thought we would get. I slept in the bed with Jacob, and Rob slept on the floor. He is used to sleeping on the floor with his foster mother, so it will take some time to transition him to sleep in his room by himself. He took to the bed no problem, but I doubt he will sleep alone for at least a few weeks.

He was mostly potty trained while in Korea, but once we got him, he regressed. Once he is ready, it will probably be pretty easy since he has been potty trained before, and Elijah is already potty trained. However, he pee'd in a plastic cup for this foster mother while in Korea rather than in the potty. I am not sure why. However, he pooped in the potty. Maybe that's a cultural thing. He did pee 1 time in the potty for us in Korea. We switched him to cloth diapers right after his bath, and he actually smiled when we put on the cloth diaper. I don't blame him. Those pull-ups do not seem comfy.

The language barrier isn't so bad. Jacob catches on pretty quickly with everything. He can catch the gist of what we are trying to say. He seems to be very smart. He catches on quickly, and learns fast.  Jacob even tries to repeat English words that Elijah says. Rob took the boys for a run in the stroller this morning. They had a blast. When they came back, Elijah said, "Mommyyyyyyy!" And Jacob looked at me and said, "Mommy!" with a huge smile. I almost cried. He finally said my name! 

We are still struggling with getting him to self-feed. Sometimes he does it, but a lot of times he doesn't. I think this is another area of regression, but I think it might be mixed with some cultural issues that we are not aware of. We figured some of the cultural issues were with him needing the head male to eat first, and with turning your head from an elder. When he does self-feed, he looks to us for approval before almost every bite. Some more of i could be that the food is new to him. He seemed unfamiliar with some of the fruits that we have. 

So here we are. Watching our boys bond, and getting to know our Jacob. I can't wait to see what the days ahead bring.

Last Full Day in Korea

Our last day before we fly out! We had a day of ups and downs today. Jacob had a fitful sleep. He was all over the bed and whined in his sleep. Bless his heart. He woke up about 7:30 or so. He got out of bed and got a toy. I turned the light on, and reality hit him. He let out a moan, climbed back in bed and would NOT wake up. We tried to coax him with food and toys, but it did not work. He was like a newborn baby - completely limp and slept through anything we tried to do to wake him. This is a normal coping mechanism for grief. So we took the opportunity to snuggle him. Church started at 11:30, so at about 10 we got him dressed and managed to wake him up long enough to spoon yogurt in his mouth. I wore him in my carrier, and he slept most of the way to church (about 45 minutes in the metro). He woke up for a little bit on the trip, and some older ladies were there. I didn't know what they were saying, but they were pointing to their checks and looking at Jacob. I fought back tears because I didn't know what they were saying, but he does. Luckily he fell back asleep while they were still talking. It may have been innocent, but I wished they would just leave us alone.

We went to an English speaking church in Seoul. The pastor is Korean, but he is from the US. He is also very actively involved in adoption advocacy. He works with other organizations to promote domestic adoption and to stop the quota for international adoption. Church was really great. And Jacob did a great job. As soon as we got there, I took him out of the carrier and he woke up. We had a magnadoodle type thing that he played with. He sat on my lap for a while, and then sat next to me. He was so cute playing with his toy. He sang softly to himself. There was another child his age right behind us. They passed the magnadoodle back and forth under the chair for a little while. You could see that he was making sure it was ok with me. At first he dropped it and the other kid kicked it back to him. Jacob kicked it back and the other kid kicked it back again. Jacob looked at me as he slowly started to kick it again. I said yes and he felt free to play. So sweet. After church, we went up front and thanked the pastor for his work with adoption. He prayed for us, and we went back to the hotel. 

We were all very hungry by this point. We made some lunch, and Jacob climbed up into his chair, and grabbed his chopsticks and waited. I told him he could eat, but he looked to Rob. Rob told him he could eat and he dug in. Rice and chicken. Every couple of bites he would look to us to make sure it was ok. I think this might be a cultural thing. He also turned away with most bites. I am not 100% sure, but I think this might be a cultural thing as well. He chowed down - the first time I saw him eat a whole meal on his own! Then we played. We had such a great time throwing the ball back and forth. We laughed so hard. It was really wonderful. And he would run to Rob, jump into his arms, then run to me and jump into my arms. It was such a fun and special time. And if his cars that he lined up got out of place, he would have to stop and put them back into place. Kind of reminds me of Rob. With Rob, it is dishes. If there is a dish in the sink, Rob physically cannot do anything until it is put away. Even if something more important comes up. *Sigh* Rob suggested that he and Jacob can have their own space to obsessively clean and Elijah and I can't leave our stuff laying around there. For the record, Elijah and I are not messy. I prefer to call it clean clutter. Anyways, we had such a wonderful time. We even jumped on the bed and wrestled with Jacob. He had a blast and was laughing so hard!

We had dinner, and it went just as well as lunch. This time, we had spaghetti and Korean dumplings. He ate some of the spaghetti, but he chowed down on the dumplings. I got a video of him being so cute and using his chopsticks. He would take a dumpling, dip it in Kimchi (he did this because he saw Rob do it), and then eat it. I could not get over how cute it was to watch him skillfully maneuver those chopsticks!

Then we started packing. I was taking out all of the stuff his foster mom had given us for him - all his toys and stuff. Everything we brought out he would gasp and get excited. He would hold it for a second and then move on to the next thing. Once we were all packed, he was playing on the floor with a few toys we had left out. Suddenly he started crying. It was a sad cry. I scooped him up and rocked him in my arms while he cried. It was the same cry from the car ride away from the agency, but this time he melted into my arms rather than pushing me away. He allowed us to comfort him. We acknowledged that he was sad, and that it was ok to be sad. We assured him that he was coming with us. We showed him his stuff packed in the bag. He calmed down. We got him ready for bed and watched Thomas until he fell asleep. His sleep has been much more restful (it is about 4am here).

I am ready to be home, but not excited about the plane ride. I hope that one day we can come back to Korea and be able to see more and experience more of the culture. Here are some of my impressions. Seoul is a very busy city. It is lively all day and all night. Except at around 7am on Sunday - weird. The traffic is bad, but I'd say NY city is worse. And there are less cabs. And more minivans. Probably most people take either the bus or metro. And everyone seems to have smartphones. And some of them are pretty big. On the metro, most all of the younger people were playing with their phones with their earbuds in. People were very friendly. If we were holding the map and looking lost, someone always stopped and asked to help. Every time. People offered up their seats on the metro to older people, disabled, and people with children. People smile and bow. People don't push you out of the way to get somewhere. Cars won't run you over if you are walking in the middle of the crosswalk. In fact, they wait for you to cross! So even though it is a big city, the people are still friendly like a small town. The air smells of smog and Korean food. You also don't hear people beep their horns. And between the buses, train, taxis and metro, it is very easy and inexpensive to get around Seoul. And prices for most things aren't all that high. Except fresh produce.

I'm sure I'll think of more for a later post, but for now, I will leave you with the view from our hotel room.

First Full Day Together

So we decided to go out and do something together today, rather than just sit in the hotel. We wanted to go somewhere mainly inside. So we decided on this indoor amusement park called Lotte World. As we were walking up, Jacob seemed excited! We walked in and...wow. I don't know how to explain it. Jacob may not have sensory issues, but after a few hours there, Rob and I did. It was sensory overload. It is huge. It has a bunch of rides all crammed into a small area. (yes, it was both huge AND small. Huge, but not large enough for the amount of rides they have) We rode a few rides, and Jacob loved watching the monorail ride go around (the line for that ride was 45 minutes - so we just watched it). We ate lunch, and Jacob managed to fall asleep in his stroller. How? I don't know. We left after lunch and Rob and I were spent. When I got back, someone had mentioned on facebook about a nice museum with a great kids area. That probably would have been the right choice. Oh well! We spend the rest of the afternoon at the hotel. It was really a great afternoon. I think we got to see the real Jacob. He was doing things that the foster mom had said he does. He was lining up his cars in this pattern that reminded me of rush hour traffic in Seoul. He was playing much more naturally. We have this book that is about numbers. Each page has a number on it - 1-10. And there are buttons on the right side that have the numbers. You push the button with the number that matches the number on the page, and it says a number and plays a sound. He loved it. We went through it over and over again. And he know all his numbers! He was so cute chatting away in Korean, and watching him think through each match. Our hotel has an Outback in it, so we decided to order some take-out. We were told Jacob only ate Korean food, so we offered him both Korean food and some Outback. He was a little hesitant at first about the Outback food, but he warmed up quickly to it. :) We were told that he doesn't like the shower, and we don't have a tub in our hotel, so we gave him a wipe down and got in bed. We turned on Thomas, and after a little while, he was out.

He is such a sweet and thoughtful child. He seems to be very gentle. These are all things his foster mom said to describe him, so I think we are seeing the real him. Which is huge. Many kids don't trust that quickly to show their real self for a while.

The attachment process is going well on all 3 sides. Many people do not realize that attachment isn't just about a child attaching to his/her parents. The parents also need to attach and bond. This is something I didn't realize when we brought Elijah home - and he was a complete stranger to me. Many people think adoptive parents are instantly bonded, but that isn't always true. I haven't had 9 months of feeling the baby move inside me. That is very bonding for a mother and child. When Elijah came home, I beat myself up about it. But I realized that bonding and attaching comes with time. And love grows. As you do the tasks of caring for a child, skin-to-skin contact, playing, eye contact - those all foster attachment. And love grows. I am head over heals for Elijah now. And the process has begun with Jacob. I can see how easily he trusts us. He feel asleep in Rob's arms on the subway. He doesn't fear bedtime. He allows us to comfort him when he is sad or falls down and hurts himself. When we hold him, he has started holding us back. He is allowing for eye contact. All these are signs of trust. He even ran up to Rob and threw his arms around Rob's legs. He calls Rob "Daddy". He has called me "Mommy" one time. And I know he called me Mommy to his foster mom. But that one may be a little tougher for him right now. Which is understandable.

There has been a little regression in a few areas. One is potty training. He was fully day trained, but we have kept a pull-up on him, and he has gone in that. Except when we got back to the hotel, his pull-up was dry. I put him on the potty, and he pee'd! Yay! He hasn't pooped much - that is not uncommon for grieving children. Another area of regression is eating. He had been able to eat on his own, but now I feed him for every meal. That is the only way he will eat. He drinks fine on his own. But I don't mind. I actually like it. It is good for bonding anyways.

Rob and I have enjoyed our time in Seoul, but now that we have Jacob, we are desperately home sick. We were told over and over again that adoption travel is NOT a vacation. And it is true. And we are ready to go home. We both miss Elijah so much. I can't wait to get home to him. We have skyped with  him every day - sometimes twice a day. My mom is taking good care of him. I can't wait to get back and start our new life. Seoul is a big city. A HUGE city. And we are not big city type people. We love Williamsburg, and we are ready to get back. Maybe one day we will be back for vacation and really get to see the tourist things. With only 1 free day, we didn't have much time. And the DMZ was at the top of our list, so I am glad we saw that. We leave Monday, so we still have 1 more day in Seoul and then the long flight home. Please pray for us!

Gotcha Day

The day we have been anticipating for the last year and a half finally happened! Jacob is finally with us. It was an emotional day. We picked him up in the afternoon. When we got there, Jacob and his foster mom were pulling up at the same time. Her son and his wife had driven her. We went to a meeting room and played with him for a little bit more. We talked and asked a few more questions. And then the social worker said that it was time. So we went downstairs and into the lobby. Jacob's foster mom was being so brave for him. She was doing all the right things. She was really holding it together for him. She was on the verge of tears, but she was putting on a brave face. She loves him very much. The head of the agency came out, and she said a prayer for us. A driver from Eastern was bringing us back to the hotel. So we gathered our stuff, and Jacob's foster mom carried him to the car. We got in and she handed him to us. His foster brother (and wife), foster mom, social worker, and Dr. Kim (the head of the agency), waved good bye and closed the door. And he screamed. Like a gut-wrenching scream. The drive was about 15 minutes, but it felt like forever. He cried and screamed so loudly. It was the cry of a truly heartbroken child. He looked out the back window and screamed and cried. He calmed down right before we pulled up to the hotel.

The first thing we did was pull out the toys. He seemed happy about the Thomas toys, so we brought out our Thomas DVD. And Thomas saved the day. A few minutes into the movie, he was happy and and laughing and pointing to all the trains. The rest of the evening was all laughs and smiles as we played with toys and a beach ball and trucks and trains. He was extremely silly and hyper. I'm not sure if his silliness was a way of coping (which is not uncommon), or really him. I think it was a way of coping. It was pretty over the top.

At about 8pm, we all got in bed and turned on Thomas. Within a few minutes, he dozed off and slept soundly the entire night. He didn't wake up until 7am! That is great! And he certainly sleeps all over the bed. He likes to be touching at least one of us during the night. It was so precious. We were so happy that he slept so well! We didn't anticipate getting much sleep. I will leave you with some pictures of us goofing around with the webcam.

First Meeting!

It finally happened! Yesterday we met Jacob! We were so nervous. At breakfast we both were both extremely anxious. We came back to our room and I felt like I needed to read my devotional. So Rob and I read. It is a day-by-day devotional, and has a set devotion for every day in a year. I kid you not, July 26 devotional was made just for us. The devotional take scripture and makes it into a note from God to us. And the first sentence of the day was: "Relax and let Me lead you through this day." It continued, "You tend to peer anxiously into the day that is before you, trying to figure out what to do, and when.... As you look to Me, I show you what to do now and next.... When you let Me direct your steps, you are set free to enjoy Me and to find what I have prepared for you this day." Wow. We spent some time in prayer and felt MUCH better. God is so good.

We got to the agency a little early and hung out in the cafe. Finally we decided we couldn't wait anymore, so we found our social worker and she brought us into a room. We got a "pre-flight" report that gave us a whole lot of information on Jacob and what he likes and doesn't like. We got his passport and the mysterious sealed envelope for immigration (those of you who have been here know what I mean). Another social worker told us that it just has all our information that we sent them. We filled out another form, and then she said, "He is here to meet you!" We went up to one of the meeting rooms. The rooms are filled with toys. We walked in, and there he was! Real. Not a picture. The pre-flight report said that he looked at the book that we sent him with pictures in it and our voice reading a story. And if asked, he can point to the pictures and point out "Mommy" and "Daddy". !!! So when we first saw him, I saw a look in his eyes that was like, "Hey! I know you guys!" He got shy and smiled. Then continued playing. His foster mom told him that it is Mommy and Daddy, and he seemed fine with that. He let us play with him and interact. And touch him. It was so fun! He was playing and laughing. And as the time went on, he was talking and interacting with us. I got a chance to talk to his foster mother and ask questions. It was wonderful. I can tell how much she loves him. She has taken such good care of him. I can't imagine what she is going through right now. When she talked about him, her face lit up. At the end she gave us hugs and said to "take good care of him." I think she was holding back tears. She really does love him. She gave us a huge bag filled with his favorite toys, clothes, music CDs, his hanbok, his lotions, and pictures on a thumb drive and some disposable cameras to develop. And guess what? He loves Thomas and Friends! Which is GREAT news, because Elijah loves Thomas as well. Which means we already have a ton of Thomas toys. And we brought 3 Thomas DVDs. Today we take custody of him.

After our meeting, we had lunch with the head of Eastern, Dr. Kim. There were about 7 other couples there adopting this week as well. Then we had lunch at the agency. Then we went and volunteered at the baby house. It was overwhelming. There were 77 babies there!! And almost all of them were only a couple weeks old. We calmed crying babies and fed crying babies. There was a baby that was a little older (6 months old) who was there for respite for his foster parents. He had been there only 2 days and wasn't supposed to be there for long. So I took him for a while and helped him try to sit and stand and walk holding my hands. Then he gave me a big yawn. I rocked him and within seconds he was out. I went to put him down in his crib, and without opening his eyes, he screamed and kicked. I picked him up and he settled down immediately. I tried again with the same result. I tried putting him on his stomach, his side, his back. I tried rubbing his back. He just screamed with closed eyes. So I picked him up again, and he quieted down again. So I carried him around while I helped feed some other babies. Then I went into a quiet room, put him on my chest, like I used to do with Elijah, and he just slept. Then they came in with his bottle. After he ate, he was super happy and was ready to play in his crib. Rob was handed a beautiful baby girl, and after he fed her, she feel fast asleep. And for the next like 2 hours, Rob stared at her while she slept in his arms. It was the sweetest thing. I didn't think he was going to be able to let her go! Looking at all those babies broke my heart. I couldn't help but cry. All of these babies are waiting. And hoping that they will be adopted. They have to wait until the child is 5 months old before they are available for international adoption. I hope they all find families very soon. They need families.

When we left, we were emotionally, mentally, and physically drained. That is why I am not writing until now. We leave soon to take custody, so I will leave you with these photos:

DMZ

In the last year, we have watched every documentary about North Korea that Netflix offers. We have listened to every news story about North Korea. And there is always a lot. We have been so moved by stories of those who have escaped and so burdened for those who remain. If you are unfamiliar with the situation in North Korea, I'll give you a nutshell. They keep their people completely in the dark. Literally and figuratively. The people are starving. Famine is widespread. The communist government prevents anyone from leaving. They are not allowed to hear about news from the outside world. They are told only what the government wants them to hear - most of which is not true or half truths. Most "commoners" in North Korea are starving or have very little food. When rations are divided up by the government, the people in the "party" (governmental party) are given the most food. They tell their people that South Korea is in poverty and democracy is not working. They have anti-American propaganda. And the North and the South fought a war that never ended. They signed a cease-fire and tensions are still high today. Just like the iron curtain divided Europe in the Cold War, there is a Military Demarcation Line (MDL) that divides North and South Korea. The Cold War is still alive in Korea. This boarder (the MDL) is the most heavily guarded boarder in the world. And Rob and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to check it out.

We were supposed to take a morning tour, but we were 10 minutes late and missed that tour (those who know me well are not surprised about this!). But it worked out well, because we had gotten a map from our hotel that was basically a huge flyer for another tour company. We called them and managed to get a private tour. The tour guide came and picked us up and drove us out there. You can't just go up to the MDL and take a look. There is a large space on either side called the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ). The only thing in the DMZ is landmines and lots of wildlife. People are not allowed to go through it. Many people have died trying to escape North Korea through the DMZ. There are some places where the DMZ is wide and you can't see North Korea, and there are other places where it is more narrow, and you can see. As we were driving, there was a very narrow part where you could clearly see North Korea without binoculars. Both sides have thick barbed wire fences. You can see the lush area of South Korea. And then the barren area of North Korea. Our guide explained that the North is MUCH more mountainous that the South. You could see lots of mountains, but the mountains are bare. They are not lush. They are brown. They have cut down all the trees. At one point, the DMZ was only a river and it was not very wide. You could see the boarders lined on both sides with bunkers and watch towers. It was so eerie to see. It is basically a stand-off. Our tour guide told us that the North has a dam that they use to control the water level. The last time they opened it suddenly and it was like a tsunami. Several people died. In places where the DMZ is narrow (like this particular place), there are abandoned towns in the South. No one wants to live that close to the North.

Koreans in the South hope for reunification. Most all monuments refer to this. Our first stop was at Imjingak. There were several things at this stop. One was the Bell of peace. It represents the hope for peace and unification of Korea in the 21st century. There are 21 steps going up to the bell, and the bell weighs 21 tons.

There was also some tributes to the Korean War. One was an old train that symbolizes the division of North and South. It was left in the DMZ after it was bombed during the Korean War. You can see thousands of bullet holes in it. Another thing is the Bridge of Freedom. It was built in 1953 to free prisoners. The prisoners were driven to the bridge and walked across to freedom.

Our next stop was the 3rd tunnel. The South has found 4 tunnels that the North Korean military built in an effort to invade the South. The built the tunnels to go under the MDL and DMZ. In the case of the 3rd tunnel, a North Korean defector tipped them off about it. South Korea drilled down in several places and poured water into their drilling. Finally they found a spot where the water went straight through. They dug an interception tunnel and discovered it. The North Koreans ran away and painted black marks on the walls claiming that they were actually mining for coal. But there is no coal in that area. We actually got to walk down and into the tunnel. We went under the DMZ in the tunnel and up to the first blockade (there are 3). You could look through to the second. The MDL was not far at that point. It was barely tall enough for me to stand, and I had to duck in some spots. It wasn't wide either. And you could see the spots where they had inserted dynamite into the rock to blast their way through. Our guide told us that the North Koreans would explode something on their side at the same time as dynamite exploded in the tunnel so that it wouldn't be heard. We couldn't take pictures in the tunnel, but I got some good mental pictures. And the climb back up is very steep. It was quite a workout! Our guide said it is estimated that there are probably many many more of these tunnels that they had tried to build that weren't discovered.

Next we went to my favorite part. The Dora observatory. It is the highest point and you can get a really good look into North Korea. The only connection that North and South Korea has is a road. And the only people that travel that road is trucks going to an industrial building where some North Koreans work. They manufacture goods that the South turns around and exports. They can pay workers really cheep in North Korea. South Korea even strung up electricity to power the building. That building is one of the very few places in the country that has power. If you look at a satellite picture at night, you can see lights covering the South, and almost no light in the North. There are binoculars at the observatory that you can see a whole lot. There is an interference tower that scrambles South Korean channels so people in the North can't see it. However, some South Koreans can pick up North Korean channels. It is mostly propaganda (for those that are members of the party and have electricity). You could also see parts of the Joint Security Area (JSA). It used to be that the entire JSA was the only place that military personal could pass over the MDL. However, there was an incident where some US soldiers decided to trim a tree that was blocking their view, and the North Koreans didn't like it. They got in a fight, and the North Korean soldiers killed 2 American soldiers. The leader of North Korea apologized, but the damage was done. So they divided up the JSA and now the standoff of the soldiers is very close there. South Korean soldiers aren't able to get too close to the boarder. North Korean soldiers have in the past tried to pull them over the boarder. And North Korean soldiers also aren't allowed to come close. Some have tried to defect that way, so they don't let the soldiers get close without having another soldier behind him to shoot if necessary. You can also see some houses. It used to be that no one lived in those houses. It used to be a propaganda village to try to show the South that they have houses and make them think they are doing fine. But now the workers at the factory live there. I managed to see 1 person in North Korea walking around. I prayed so hard for that person. The difference in the countries is stark. And you can tell just by looking at this one area. I am sure it is even worse further in. This is there "best foot" forward. Yikes. You could only take pictures from further back. In the background of the second picture (behind the guy waving), you can see North Korea (kind of). There is grass in the summer, but our guide said that it is completely brown in the winter. It looked pretty brown already.

Our last stop was to a train station. Dorasan Station. It is the last train station in South Korea before the DMZ. They have it all set up for unification. They have immigration area ready to receive North Koreans and and a train area that says it goes to the furthest train station in North Korea. The hope is that they will one day be able to open the countries to each other for travel and trade. My guess: this probably won't happen until communism falls in North Korea. Or until this type of oppression falls. Our guide told us that Koreans in the North didn't used to know the truth about the prosperity in the South. But one time the North sent players to play some sort of sports game in the South, and sent some people to cheer them on. It was mostly people high up in the party, but there were some "commoners". And they saw the truth. And they told the truth when they got back to North Korea. And one lady lost her life for telling the truth. 

That concluded our tour, and I dozed off on our way back to the hotel from the DMZ. My body was telling me it was 3am! Here are a few more fun photos. The first one is a monument that symbolizes the split of the North and the South and the hope for unification.

We meet Jacob tomorrow morning. We are very excited and nervous. Can't wait to report on that!

We have arrived!

We got in yesterday and into our hotel! The flight was...long. I (Alexis) have been on international flights before. I remember being so tired coming from London to BWI. Yeah, this doesn't even compare. But I will say that Korean Air is excellent. The service is really nice. The flight attendants are wonderful. I am pretty sure I can guess their criteria for choosing flight attendants. Beautiful young women who are very friendly and professional. But they have video games and movies and documentaries available to watch. I played some games and watch The Lorax. Cute movie, but I heard that adoption comment people were talking about. Not a big fan of that comment, but the rest of the movie was cute. Rob watched a documentary and played games. We both also had our e-readers and spent most of the time reading. The plane was big and roomy. They did a great job of keeping the bathrooms from getting stinky. There was a family with a little boy about Elijah's age that was next to us. This little boy did great. He got a little whinny at times, but who can blame him? I felt a little whinny too. It is a LOOONG flight. I am praying that Jacob does as well. I was watching those parents for tips. :) Once we hit about 11 hours in the air, we were so tired. And then we hit some turbulence around Japan, and I sat there with a bag just in case. Ugh. We were both a little nauseous at that point. Once we got off, it took us less than 20 minutes to get through immigration, get our bags, and go through customs. It was pretty quiet in the airport. We got the bus straight to our hotel. Honestly, I am not sure how long the ride was. I was trying so hard not to fall asleep. But the bus was nice because we got to see Seoul. It is a HUGE city. And it is very spread out. Not like New York that has the centralized areas and then it goes out from there. It is just massive and spread out really far. Our hotel is very nice. We are staying at the Vabien II (for those of you who will be travelling soon!). They are friendly and the rooms are clean and nice. There is a kitchen and a washer/dryer. Also a little sofa. The beds are very firm (which is typical in Korea). Rob loves this fact! Today we are planning on doing a little sight seeing. We are going to the DMZ. We will update again soon! Thank you all for your prayers and support.

For Our Friends and Family

We are very excited to share our journey to Seoul to get our son and come back! So many of you have prayed for our family, waited impatiently with us, bought gifts for Jacob, and now rejoice with us as we travel to bring him home. We will be sharing updates with you via this blog to report on our trip and transition.

As we prepare to bring him home, we are asking for your help in assisting with Jacob's transition. We are all very excited and have been waiting for this moment for the past year and a half. He will be forever home! However, he does not realize that he is not already home. For the last 3 years, his foster parents have raised him and cared for him as though he is their son. We are so thankful for their love and dedication to his care. He has been with the same foster parents for the last 3 years, and we are so grateful for this. Saying good-bye to each other will be extremely difficult. I cannot imagine how his foster parents must be feelings. I also cannot imagine how confused Jacob will be when the time to say good-bye comes.

To Jacob, we are complete strangers. We look different and talk different. And we will be bringing him to the other side of the world to a different country, different house, different food...everything will be different. We know that Jacob will face huge adjustments in the coming weeks and months. He will also grieve the loss of his foster family. This will cause some confusion for him - will we leave him too? who is his immediate family?

We wanted to discuss with you all some decisions that we have made to help Jacob adjust to his new environment. We are planning to keep Jacob's world very quiet and small as he adjusts. For some children this takes a few weeks, for some it takes longer. It will be unlikely that we will have him at church for first few weeks. And even when we do have him there, we will not be dropping him off in the nursery for a while. We will decide when it is time to introduce him to people - it depends on how he transitions.

In addition to his adjustment to his new environment, we need to ensure that he attaches to us as his parents and bonds with us. Attachment takes time and care. It will happen over time as we meet his physical and emotional needs. Proper attachment is extremely important, and if it does not occur, it causes huge problems. So we are asking for your help. Once we reach the point that we are introducing him to others, we will still be working to form attachments. It will be a long time before we feel comfortable allowing anyone to care for, feed, hug or even hold Jacob. We want him to learn that we are his parents and we will always be there to meet his needs. If you see him and he asks you for a need - no matter how big or how small, please direct him to either Rob or I. Please do not attempt to meet the need. Even if he is asking for something small like a snack. Please know that we are making these decisions in the best interest of Jacob. We have come up with this plan after much prayer and research on the matter.

But that doesn't mean that we don't want you near us! Once we enlarge his world, we would love to have you meet him! Please feel free to come up and say hi. High fives or pats on the back are always good! We will expand his world as we see his adjustment and attachment has progressed. Thank you all so much. We could not have gotten to this point without all the support and prayers that we have received from all of you. We look forward to sharing this journey with you!