And the Journey Continues!

We are very excited to announce that we are in the process of adopting our 3rd child! A little GIRL from Taiwan! She is 2 years old (yes, we are crazy with 3 kids under 3). She is WAS also a waiting child (just as Jacob was). We are so thankful that God has brought us another blessing. We expect to welcome her home in the next 10 months or so! Please pray for us as we prepare for another long adoption journey. And pray for our daughter as God prepares her heart to come home.

Checking in!

We are doing amazingly well, and we are further along than I thought we would be at this point! I am so proud of how far Jacob has come. He amazes me every day with how well he is adjusting and how fast he is learning.

Jacob and Elijah started preschool in September. They go 2 mornings a week. We hadn't planned to send Jacob, but he asked to go! The school was really fantastic. They let us transition slowly. I stayed in the classroom with Jacob for a couple weeks. Then I only stayed in the class for part of the time and in the hallway for the other half of the time. Then, I was just in the hall. Finally, I was able to leave him there. Jacob's teacher has been so wonderful and understanding. He hasn't had any problems in school! I love seeing him make friends and enjoy going to school. I think going to school has helped him break out of his shell. He and Elijah are in different classes, and that has helped each one of them to socialize on their own. I think that has helped them also be best friends at home. They really love each other. It is so sweet, and it warms my heart to see them together!

Jacob speaks fantastic English. I am amazed at how fast he has learned English. He also knows his colors, letters, numbers, and even how to spell his name! He is showing interest in reading and writing. I think having Elijah has helped with language. He used to repeat EVERYTHING Elijah said, which helped him learn quickly. He is still working on expressing his emotions.

He is also attaching VERY well. He runs up to me and gives me big hugs in the morning. As his attachment increases, I see his self-confidence rise. We had a big breakthrough the other week. He woke up from a nap with a nightmare. He woke up screaming "I not! I not going!" and then screamed. I ran up and scooped him up. I rocked him and told him it was just a dream and not real. I told him Mommy is right here, and he is going to stay here forever. I held him tightly and prayed for God's protection over his dreams and his mind. I prayed that Satan would have no control over his mind or dreams. When a Mom prays a prayer of protection for her babies, it is a fervent prayer! He calmed down and went back to sleep. He woke up different. More self-assured than I'd ever seen him. With language skills even more advanced. He has since shown us more of his sense of humor (he is so silly and funny!). He has shown control over his emotions that he previously didn't have. As in, he was upset about something yesterday, and instead of throwing an hour long tantrum, he was back to being happy in 15 minutes - this is really huge.

He is such a sweet and loving child. He is gentle and loves to cuddle. He loves books and playing with cars and trains. He also has a flair for the dramatic. As I am typing, he is picking up a small bucket that has a couple little toys in it, and he is picking it up and carrying it like it weighs 100 pounds. He is grunting and pretending like he can barely pick it up. In reality, it is very light. :) He and Rob are so very much alike. Both are task-oriented introverts, and they don't easily change their plans. They are both fiercely loyal. It's funny how much they are alike. Especially since Elijah and I are both very much alike. We are both people-oriented extroverts.

We have good days, great days, and bad days just like everyone else. Parenting a child who has gone through trauma is not always easy, but it is so rewarding to see him grow. What many consider small victories, are huge victories for us. I wouldn't have it any other way. We feel so blessed to walk this road!

Moving Forward

I just wanted to check in! We are all doing well over here. The first week of Rob back to work has gone well. It really helped me that I watched a friend's child for several months during the day. I was prepared for what it would be like to have 2, and I already had a system. I haven't had any problems so far. I have ran errands, gone grocery shopping, gone on walks, and taken them to the playground. Putting them down for a nap hasn't been an issue either. Luckily, both kids LOVE peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and fruit, so that has been an easy lunch. They are both EXTREMELY dramatic when it is time to get up from a nap. I find myself turning into a drill sargent. It goes a little something like this: "Time to wake up boys! I know you are still tired, but after a 2 hour nap, I don't want you up all night. Whining doesn't work on me, so get out of bed! Jacob, it doesn't matter to me if you don't want your diaper changed - you have to do it! Elijah, it is not too much work to go to the potty. No, I cannot carry you both down the stairs, so you both have to walk. You both have 2 legs, so stop whining and get downstairs! Get into your chairs for snack - I have seen you do it by yourself lots of times." Then I pull out the clementines for snack, and the whining suddenly stops. Goodness gracious!

But it is so wonderful. I really enjoy having 2. It is so much fun. They are such great kids. At nap time, Jacob took forever to fall asleep because he was up singing Veg.gie.Tal.es songs. It was very cute! 

Jacob is settling in very well. He seems very happy. He still gets very shy around strangers - which is understandable. We are trying to introduce him slowly to new things. He isn't afraid of going out of the house. He is really only hesitant about people coming up and talking to him. He takes awhile to warm up. Before dinner he threw a big tantrum because dinner wasn't ready exactly when he wanted it. Elijah does that sometimes too. In fact, so does Rob. :) These boys are hungry!

We had an appointment with the geneticist yesterday. She was very nice. She thinks that he likely does have Rothmund-Thomson syndrome. She didn't do any testing. She suggested that we wait and participate in the research studies. Which makes sense. They will have access to more. Plus it may cost us less. We have an appointment with the dermatologist coming up in a couple weeks. The geneticist said she would also like to hear what the dermatologist says. Jacob was not a happy camper when we had to take his shirt off to inspect. Poor guy. So next stop: dermatologist. Then ophthalmologist. Then, hopefully, Texas for the research study!

Taking a Step Back

So we have decided to step back from the potty training. He had been doing so well. Then yesterday he decided he did NOT want to do this anymore. He threw several huge tantrums and was holding in his poop. Finally, he got upset over something little and threw up. We immediately put his diaper back on. A couple hours later he pooped. He was a little weak the rest of the evening, but he got up and played. We gave him liquids only for the rest of the evening. He sang himself to sleep, and he woke up happy this morning.

Today is the first day of Rob being back to work. Elijah went to a playgroup this morning and Jacob and I went to the library. It has been a good day so far! Off I go to get the boys up from their nap!

Update!

We are plugging away over here! We decided to try potty training. At first it was like pulling teeth, but it is getting better. He can pee on the potty now. Although only when we initiate it - he isn't initiating it yet. But he certainly knows how to hold it. Especially his number 2. He didn't poop at all yesterday. Anyone have any tips on that (short of an enema!)? I know he has to go, because his diaper this morning had two tiny little pieces. Elijah was super easy to potty train, so I feel like I don't know what I am doing!

Jacob seems to be bulking up some. His diet in Korea was mainly rice and vegetables (according to his foster mother). She said he would spit out meat. But he certainly hasn't done that here. His appetite is increasing, and he is expanding his interests. He loves chicken. He was (and still is) a skinny little guy when he came home. Very healthy! Just thin. Which doesn't surprise me since he ate just rice and veggies! He is filling out some. At his doctor's visit, he was about 3/4 of an inch taller than Elijah but about .8 lb lighter than Elijah. Keep in mind that Elijah is pretty tall and he is also filling out some (which is what he does right before a growth spurt). Jacob was average height and close to the 25 percentile for weight (which is fine - his BMI is normal). I think I might put him on our scale and see where he is at now.

His grieving seems to go in waves. This morning he was a little sad, but once he ate he got better. He and Elijah have been happily playing. Jacob talked to Elijah in Korean, and Elijah seemed to understand it. Elijah stood up and said, "Ok" and walked over to where Jacob had been pointing. They also sang a Vegg.ie.tales song together. I can tell how much they love having each other, and their bond is really growing. In fact, we have to be intentional about separating the boys sometimes so that we can bond with Jacob as well. Which is a great problem to have!

Bonding and attachment takes time. But I can tell we have a great head start. He comes to us for comfort. He seems to trust that we will take care of him. He makes good eye contact. He seems to be much more on the serious side than Elijah is, but he gives us lots of smiles! And he will give kisses when we ask for them (which I LOVE). And he often walks around singing! :) His English is improving a lot. He can count mostly to 10 in English, and he seems to understand almost everything we say.

Bedtime is WAY better. We can just put him in his bed, put our hand on him for a second, tell him it is ok, and walk away. Having a body pillow for him to cuddle has been great. He doesn't cry anymore. I think it has also helped that we don't go straight from playing to getting ready for bed anymore. Since we have switched it, he hops right upstairs and into his bath happily.

I thought we had lots of bumps and scrapes and bruises with just Elijah. I was wrong! They play off of each other and run around a lot. Elijah has scraped himself in the same spot on his knee 4 times. And that is just 1 knee. Jacob is a little more careful than Elijah, but he still gets his fair share of bumps. Little boys are rough and tumble, but so much fun!

I know I have said this before, but I want to reemphasize that this transition has been extremely easy. For many people, sleep issues persist for 6 months to a year (not wanting to sleep alone and night terrors mainly).  Attachment issues have also been at a minimum for him. He doesn't have any sensory integration problems (which is also very common). He is getting his grief out in healthy ways. We were completely prepared for his special needs. He doesn't seem to have any trouble learning new things. I am not saying things couldn't change and get difficult. But we have been surprised at how easy it has been. We have been wondering if this is God's way of pushing us on to the next adoption.

2 Weeks Together

So Jacob has been with us for 2 weeks! And he is settling in nicely. He is acting just as his foster mother described. And he is smiling MUCH more! And....he has started giving kisses!!! He's not quite as huggy and kissy as Elijah - he gives hugs and kisses all day without me even having to ask for most of them. I still ask for them with Jacob, but I am happy with this victory!

When we met his foster mother, we asked lots of questions. One of those questions was what makes him upset. The only thing she said was "going to bed". And she said it with emphasis. We try to keep a tight nap and bedtime schedule. I feel it makes a big difference. I don't think Jacob is used to this. We were told that he doesn't usually nap, and if he does, he doesn't go to bed until like 11pm. Yikes! He fell easily into our schedule. But now he is feeling more comfortable to give us some push back. A couple nights ago he started whining when we go upstairs for nighttime bath/bed, and he started whining when we go for nap. He even started whining when we change his diaper. And it sometimes escalates into a very whiny cry with little to no tears. Once he is in bed, he calms down, but it is the anticipation. He just doesn't want to stop playing. He points to go downstairs.

We tried reasoning with him, and we tried comforting him. None of that was working. So we decided to change our approach starting yesterday. With a small whine, we redirect, but we keep pushing him through the routine. If he starts to get to his whine/cry (the one with no tears), then we continue to push him through the routine without giving much acknowledgement to the cry. Remember that we are still in the bonding/attachment phase, so leaving him alone to throw his tantrum or spanking is not an option. We also changed the nighttime routine slightly. We were doing: dinner, outside playtime, bath, and then bed. We changed it yesterday to outside playtime, dinner, bath and then bed. That way he isn't going from playing straight to getting ready for bed. And it worked much better. He still whined, but not nearly as bad. He is very smart, and I think he will catch on quick. Especially since we are starting from the beginning that the whining doesn't work on us. And I think he liked that. In fact, he wasn't completely asleep when we left him in his room. He managed to fall asleep without us in the room! And a couple nights ago he started sleeping through the night without us in there. Yay! These are really big accomplishments. Just for a point of reference, we were told that most kids don't reach this point until about 6 months to a year after placement. So this is HUGE! He even woke up this morning and sang in his bed until we came and got him. Hopefully he re-potty trains this easy. Maybe I'll start that in a week or 2. We also learned the hard way that skipping even 1 nap is not a good idea. We'll work up to that, but for now, a nap every day is in order!

In other news, Rob starts back to work on Monday. I am not looking forward to it. I am not concerned about whether I can handle two, but it is more about being spoiled by having Rob here to share the responsibilities. Also, we Daisy found a burrow in our yard of mice. Or voles. Not sure which one. And our neighbor found snakes - one her deck and one in her basement, so I'm pretty sure the two are related. I hope we don't get snakes! Or maybe just in our yard so they eat the rodents. But I just don't want either in the house. So now we have to deal with that and trying to keep Daisy from eating them. Yep, you read that right - eating them. That is how we found out we had them. She brought one inside last night and ate it. Then vomited in the middle of the night. I almost vomited too. I am waiting to hear back from the exterminator as to what we should do/what they can do. I want them gone before Rob goes back to work.

A Great Day!

So, many of you must have been praying after my last post! It may have come across as a little bit of a downer, but I am hoping that you see it more as a reality check. But we had a great day today, and I wanted to post about it.

We had a quiet morning at home. Jacob likes being at home, but it seems to be that when we go out, he clams up. Our first thought was that maybe he isn't ready to go out, but then we decided that maybe going out with just our family and then coming home would be good for him to feel secure. So after nap time, we went out.

We went to pet.sm.art and looked at the birds, fish, rodents, reptiles, and cats. The boys had a blast, and Jacob started to open up. He only wanted to be held if he wanted see something that was up high. He was running around and even cracked a few smiles. He was very interested in the animals, and he enjoyed looking at them. And Elijah had fun too. Elijah was so excited to see the animals. This is the first time I have brought him to the pet store. So that was a hit!

And then we went out to eat. We went to a local Korean restaurant. We were a little concerned that it might be too soon, but turns out it wasn't. He ate so good! The only thing that didn't work out is he ate something that hurt the sore in his mouth. And he screamed and cried. He has some lungs on him, so the entire restaurant was looking at us. I don't really care, though. After he calmed down, I announced (now that we had everyone's attention) that he had a sore in his mouth and the food hurt him. So back to eating. He cracked a few more smiles. He was so cute with his chop sticks. Even Elijah tried to use them!

Then we went to a playground. The boys had a blast. It was 7pm by this time, and the sun was below the trees. It was beautiful weather. We all had such a great time. Jacob was laughing and smiling. Then we all held hands on the way back to the car. We ran down this little hill, and it was like something from a movie. The boys were laughing and had a great time. Then Jacob smiled and sang all the way home - in the car! in his carseat! !!!! HUGE! Thank you for your prayers as he continues to adjust!